How To Tell Your Circle Is Right For YOU

Stacy J
Mar 14, 2023
3 min read

As time goes on we all grow, change and develop into the people we consider "adults". Our values change, our emotions fluctuate, and our relationships dwindle as time goes on. In our teens we enjoy hanging out, making friends, earning money for a car or first apartment. As we get to adulthood, (20's) we tend to transform and some friends get left behind after high school, while others grow with us and stay connected. As we mature into real adults (30's) we understand what our parents told us about life, how fast time flys and things seem to hit differently. We've encountered life changing events, had different careers and paths and things seem to hit differently when "life" happens. So how do you tell if your circle is right for you?

One thing to consider, which is most important, is your circle provides something for you. You give but you also get in return. It could be comfort, knowledge, understanding, companionship, etc. No matter what it is you are actually gaining something from the relationship. If you're not gaining anything you are apart of the wrong circle. It's not a monetary gain it's a "thing" you appreciate and value from being around the people in your circle.

Another thing to consider is how you feel emotionally after being around people in your circle. Are you happy, inspired, or drained and irritated? Being around certain people bring out different vibes in people. There is not always meaning or justification for it, it just is. Have you ever been in a great mood, then a friend calls and you are completely drained after the call. It's like they poured all their negativity into you and now you feel some type of way. If you always have that feeling then maybe your circle needs to change. It is okay to lend a listening ear, but not at the expense of your solitude and happiness.

Something else to consider is growth. If you're doing the same things you were doing at 20 in your 30's & 40's then your not growing and you may need to reach out to other people. Growth takes place in time, however; if you have a friend or inner circle member who doesn't want to do anything different, and you do, then maybe you should be hanging out with other people. Stop pleasing people and allow yourself to grow.

If you feel like your in constant competition with people in your inner circle then you need to exit fast. Some people stick around to see what they can learn from you, gain from you and then when they don't need you they aren't around, until your doing your next big thing and they want information. They're growing, but your not. If you feel like no matter what you and others in your circle are constantly competing for attention, money, items or anything.......you need to break away from them.

If you have an inner circle that you feel confident they support you, your family, ideas, growth and are there when you need a true friend, keep them around. Life is too short to try and figure out who is in your corner. You NEED an inner circle (that may be only 2 or 3 people) that values being apart of your life and doesn't view it as an opportunity or chore.

Your life is yours to live and no one else will ever hold the pen to your journal. Be realistic, be daring, be brave but most importantly BE YOU. Your journey is yours and yours alone to take. It isn't for everyone and sometimes you have to leave people behind. Don't feel bad, if they were meant to be they will be in your life. Grow, live, and change the world. Keep growing and inspiring.

This is one of the last blog posts from A Journalistic View. Due to other business endeavors I will no longer do blog posts. It has been an amazing 5 years of writing blogs, but it is time for a different adventure for me. There are only two posts let. Thank you for all your support and I hope to see you somewhere in the near future.